Ed Jew Who Are You

So here is the story that is far more intriguing than Gavin Newsom’s indiscretions. Ed Jew has skipped town for China….for now. Don’t worry though, his lawyer says he will be back to sort out the confusion. So far, the FBI raided his City Hall office and found $20,000 in cash and Ed Has claimed political naivete in accepting the money, alleged payment for a consultant, not Ed himself. As a matter of policy the FBI does not disclose any information about ongoing investigations, so we are all free to wildly speculate.

Is Ed Jew guilty of shaking down minority-owned businesses for help obtaining permits they would probably get anyway? Did he use his elected office as a way to extort money even though he appears to be a successful businessman? So far this part of the story reeks of mafia tactics, demanding money from small businesspeople. Is Mr. Jew the Chinese godfather or just a pawn in some bigger game? Maybe he’s not even real, Ed Jew could be a robot. A Robot Spy who is to infiltrate a position of leadership in order to destroy our economy.

Not so fast, Mr. Jew, we’re on to you.

Does he actually live in the district he claims to represent? Not according to the neighbors there. Since his wife and daughter live in Burlingame, maybe he lives there. Not so, say the neighbors there! Maybe he spends his time gambling away the family fortunes… maybe. Robots don’t need sleep, or relationships as far as we know. So he wouldn’t be at all bothered by leaving his wife and daughter alone so often. He just plugs in or gets a tuneup or maybe brews beer. Bender drinks beer, so maybe Jew’s a drunk. That’s certainly not an original excuse in the political world.

Maybe he has a massive coke problem and spends his time with different prostitutes. Oh that’s terrible, people shouldn’t say things like that. People shouldn’t abuse positions of power either, or cheat at sports, or pollute the environment, or treat each other poorly. Ed Jew has given new life to the Chronicle, each day is a new story, alleged revelations, trust funds, and not enough conjecture. Now the medical marijuana dispensary that leases their space in one of his buildings is being evicted for not applying for the necessary permits. Irony!

We all hope Ed Jew is innocent and we are watching this story develop and enjoying it every step of the way. We hope you are too.

Published in: on May 27, 2007 at 2:19 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I like and play all sorts of mafia games myself, they are very fun to play. There are so many different types on the net. I am more into fast paced games, then the slower based mafia games myself. I like mafia games that have a lot of players in them that makes them a lot more fun!

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