Scorching

Always turn off the stove before you add your grain bag to the pot.

Turning off the stovetop greatly diminishes the chance of your grain bag being scorched by/to the bottom of your pot. Burnt cotton is but a drag, melted polyester on the bottom surface of your pot is a major mess requiring great expenditures of elbow grease to clean and remove. It’s not worth the hassle, TURN OFF THE STOVETOP.

Add the bag, wait the requisite 45-60 minutes, remove the bag. Dip in & out, in & out, up & down, all around. When completely finished, remove the grain bag and Turn The Stove Back On.

Place the bag on a plate or a wide bowl and let the remaining sugars drain out. Add this saturated sugar solution to the wort as you boil, or just collect it and drink it. Barley tea is good for the gut, in case you need a healthy incentive.

Grain bag is synonymous with “tea bag,” “cheesecloth,” “pantyhose,” “cock sock,” “pecker warmer,” “paneer sac,” “all-natural hairnet,” and “suet bags,” among others. Please submit suggestions.

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Belching

Many physicians see no physiological need to stifle belching. They view it as a natural bodily function. In fact, many societies think it is healthier to allow the gas to escape than to attempt to hold it all in or release slowly. If you are suspected of being in possession of an excess of a different kind of gazz, the attending physician will instruct you to get on your hands and knees and make sure your butt is higher than your chest because gas travels up. This easy gas lane fast lane innerbody travel promotes maximal gas escapeage and allows your discomfort to diminish.

‘Tis better to belch
And bear the shame,
Than squelch a belch
And feel the pain.